Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Me after Baby

Do you ever look at your pictures before you had your baby and think to yourself, "Wow I've changed so much after I've had my baby"?  I do. I do it all the time.  Just like an unnamed movie star mentioned, "There's me before the baby, then there's a me after the baby."  I completely agree.  There was a me before the baby and she was so different.  It's as if she's a stranger to me now.  Then there's a me after the baby.  The me now is so different from who I was before.  Not as fearless, not as crazy, no longer selfish.  I'm happy, content and exhilarated by life.  I think of life as a gift and appreciate how precious it is now that I'm a mother.  

But I do have days when I miss my careless, carefree life. Still, those days can never replace the amazing almost all consuming love I have for my baby.  He seriously makes me so happy.  I have days when I look at my life and I feel like from an outsider it must look so "boring".  My life now consists of family days at the museum, grocery shopping, swimming, dining at family friendly restaurants, days at the playground, time spent checking out the new toddler toy etc. 

I sometimes look at myself and say, "Wow, you're a full blown grown-up".  It's crazy!  I remember looking at my friends with kids before and thought, "Wow, she's totally lost who she is after she had kids."  But I didn't realize all the other sh*t they were dealing with, like lost of sleep, no alone time etc. Things that I never knew about or could even relate to because I had no kids. So who was I to judge right? 

The person I was before is someone I will probably never be again because I have too much at stake now.  I realize that every action I take now can affect my family.  Even with small purchases, I think to myself, "Do I really need this or can I use the money for something else like Mason's college fund, diapers? or should I go skydiving because so it's a risk and I might hurt myself and who will care for my baby if so and so happens?"  Isn't it crazy!?  I never ever thought like this before I became a parent. 

Do you ever have those moments?  I know I can't be alone in this. 

still take the time to go out with my girlfriends at least once a month but I don't remember when the last time my husband and I had a date together.  It was probably our last visit to Disneyland back in May when we were able to sneak away for a few rides and have a quiet lunch.  My mother-in-law took our little boy swimming back at the hotel and he had a grand time.  I don't think we have spent any time together just as a couple and this was months ago.  I think it's overdue!  But because we both work during the week, on the weekends all we want to do is spend time together as a family. 

Do you and your significant other get to go out on a date night?  If so how often?  How much has your life changed after the baby?  

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